Monday, February 13, 2012

Colds

After my children being sick many times i've decided... I HATE colds. I mean they may be a minor irritating thing to live with when you're adult but when your kid is sick... It's MISERABLE! I've even said to people " please DON'T bring a cold around Brynlee, I CANNOT handle Bryn sick!" She is seriously the most fun, easy, entertaining child when she's healthy, but when she is sick i honestly feel like sticking tacks in my eyes. She often wakes up hourly screaming, and the snot, ohmygosh i cannot handle snot and that is really the only way a cold has ever manifested in her body- through snot. Day and night she sneezes out huge amounts of it. She sleeps sucking on two fingers with the corner of her blankey under her nose so a snot scenario does NOT work for her, she ends up very angry and inconsolable except by Winnie the Pooh. Lucy, well she's actually very easy to take care of when she's sick. She'll get the same cold as a cough and stuffy nose.
Then there's Bryce. Gotta love the man. He always washes his hands, stays away from everyone, but in some ways he requires more work than the kids :) i say that lovingly and with his knowledge. So we fast forward a bit to this morning. I went to bed feeling great, got woken up at 6 by a text, then at seven by Lucy (whom has recently been opening her door and running into our room) upon waking up a decided someone must have forced acid into my esophagus and smashed my nose so that it is swollen. Luckily- Bryce is already mostly over this same cold, and the girls have not gotten it yet!It seems like i gutted out several daily servings of echinacea and goldenseal (seriously tastes like eating a dandelion weed), chugged Emergen C and bought stock in Ricola only to find that the tickle in the back of my throat decided it would climb up over night and take over. I always wonder why it seems my body doesn't know the rules of war and kinda figure out how to win against these things.
Anyway, I've tried pretty much every over the counter immune booster and germ fighter i can find and it seems none can completely do the job every time ( i really wish they could!)
Again i find myself praying "God PLEASE don't let Brynlee get sick!" Avery seems to be immune to all the junk we've had here since her birth three blessed months ago, Lucy is pretty normal with a cold, but Bryn oh God PLEASE don't let Bryn get sick!
Have you ever known a mom who goes through the baby blues and feels like throwing the baby out the window? It's actually quite common, the blues not the actual throwing of the baby. Well i never understood that feeling until she had her first cold. It's the most helpless yet aggravating feeling! I can't get her to calm down so i often want to stick her outside so that when she comes back inside she might be grateful for my embrace, instead of screaming through it. So I'll continue my plea's with God, hoping for all our sake that she doesn't get sick, if she does you'll be able to tell because i won't have slept but thirty minutes at a time, and my patience will be seriously lacking.

Well, since this sounds like a super complaint, I suppose i should end with some sort of positive inspiring thought. That way you don't leave thinking i'm insane or a terrible mother ;) I suppose my point is this: I, among many, see these situations as dire. Dire in the way that "i need my sleep!" or "I spent $30 on medication for symptoms," not actual life and death.Lately my mindset seems to have changed when it comes to this kind of thing. Don't get me wrong, I feel miserable and i also know that my whining is a little petty and a bit selfish. What I mean is, I have a home with heat, a warm cozy blanket to snuggle under, that $30 bucks for cough drops and meds, healthy food, an incredible husband to help take care of me, three beautiful daughters that are mine to nurture and love-but also do a good job nurturing mommy. I have been incredibly blessed! I can only imagine what a cold would feel like right now if i were homeless. I whine inside my head every time i go out to take out the trash! Which of course is full of wasted elements someone may have been able to use. It is so difficult to break the cycle of using and tossing everything! I can only imagine how a cold feels when you're living outdoors in the rainy cold, how your sleep would be almost impossible, how you'd wish you had a home, or even just that cozy blanket. Sometimes i may not feel rich in the traditional sense, but my life is so rich and blessed! I have a place to call home, and even several backups in case i ever needed to stay somewhere else. My children get to have two parents, which is hard to find these days.
So today, with my cold, I am grateful. I am grateful most for my salvation, that in Jesus i will not endure the miseries of being human forever, and with him I am always secure. I am grateful for my home, for the ability to pay my huge electric bill, for my family being close and settling problems immediately, for the love of so many. I am grateful that i have been given the know how, and the means to bless others, and i intend to do it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

New direction...

Sometimes i wonder if there should be a limit on all the things i'm passionate about! But then the Lord was passionate about all the same things and even more!
For a few months now i've been praying a lot and feeling a distinct change coming. I know that the Lord has called my little family to huge things, and somehow seeing our life right now as it is is just NOT huge. We are in a season of growing young children, but that does not mean i need to be ineffective! The Lord is bringing me to a new place of challenge. There's been a lot of vision and dreams pouring out of my heart lately and i've been waiting to see how the pieces would fit together.
I don't like to seem like a fearful or worried woman, but i think i come off that way sometimes. I stay tuned into my own little world of consistent routines, and miss the higher mark.
Last night before Bryce left for work he was telling me the most heartbreaking story. I have the unique position as his wife in that his job reveals a whole new level of local heartbreak that i don't like to acknowledge. He knows that he cannot share certain details of crimes, the ones involving children namely, because i CANNOT handle it. But yesterday he was really bent up about a case he'd read. He began to share with me that the parents of an 18 month old boy (same age as our middle girl Bryn) thought he was the devil and so they beat him and left him to wander the streets... This is LOCAL! Not more than twenty miles from here! The parents are in jail and the child was found and taken care of, but it really got me thinking. I can't believe i've stuck my head so deep in the sand that i've missed the hurting and abused souls all around here. It seems that often we start thinking that others chose to get themselves where they are. Even so, no one "deserves" to be treated poorly because they're homeless, no matter how that happened.
My heart breaks easily, which in some ways is a gift from the Lord. I have an intense compassion that makes it so i often cannot sleep or really even cope. That is the thing that terrifies me, being vulnerable enough to feel others heartache so much that i'd rather stay at home with my girls and just enjoy every second i have. Unfortunately that won't teach them of Jesus by example, and it won't show them their mothers heart for the lost. I may not be good at witnessing in the way that my husband is naturally gifted at, but i certainly can serve and bring an element of compassion a lot of people tend to be missing. We see others as needy but somehow getting what they aught to as some sort of sick karma. If i were getting what i aught to i'd certainly not be where i am. Mercy is something we often leave behind in caring for the needy.
It has been on my heart so much so that i have been frozen in thought most of this day thinking of what i can do, what i can start here in this place where i am called to be today, to change the circumstance of someone around me. I've got some incredible ideas brewing, and i'll be updating soon on what those are.
I know that i'm not a perfect mother, but my children are incredibly blessed to be warm and fed, well groomed and clean, clothed in nice things, blessed with an abundance of toys, and most of all they know they are loved not only by me, or even relatives, but by God their creator who loved them enough to send his son to die on a cross. How many children these days are never taught this? How many are taught that life is about you you you, whatever you want, wherever you want to live, no matter the impact on anyone else. Not to mention the purpose in helping others that they miss out on. I don't want my children to see Christmas as presents, Easter as candy and dying eggs, communion as juice and bread, salvation as fire insurance. My children need to know that a Savior named Jesus came to this earth born to an engaged poor couple, born in a stable on dirty hay, wrapped in rags and set into a food trough. This Jesus grew up learning how to build things, speaking to large groups even as a child, blessing events by turning water into wine, touching diseased people with no fear or disgust, approaching those with disabilities as if they had none, because he healed them so they did not. Then, my Jesus died on two wooden posts in front of a bunch of mocking people, so that one day my children could FOLLOW his example and DO what he DID. He died so that they would get to meet their creator, and sing Holy Holy forever and ever.
What will i have to say when I'm called to give an account of my life? Yes Lord, i fed MY family, i clothed MY children, i served MY husband. All of that is important, but will i really have nothing else to say? I better have something to say, because otherwise I've shown God what he was worth to me, what eternity with him was really worth to me. He deserves the glory my sacrifice gives, he is worthy of my life being laid aside as i give whatever i can to serve HIS people, not just those he put in my household.
I know that having shared this that i will be receiving a counter attack before too long, but please keep me accountable to find my own purpose and teach my children HOW much i love Jesus, and guide them to find their own way to do the same.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Today i just felt like blogging about life...
Sometimes i can't believe such big dates in my life are already come and gone... graduation, getting married, the birth of our three beautiful daughters, two of my brothers getting married and starting their own families. It just feels like life passes you by so fast sometimes. I find myself gazing at Avery trying to suck in every breath of her infant stage like my life depends on it. Everytime she coo's from her bassinet i just can't help the smile that takes over my face! That sweet baby reminds me that life happens so fast. I cannot believe that just 3 1/2 years ago I was doing that very thing with my Lucy! And now i find myself taking short breaks from our games to get a little quiet for a moment. Not that her constant chatter and imagination bother me, it's actually that her incredible ideas and games sometimes overstimulate my brain! She can travel around the world in a game, and sometimes " to the center of the earth!" and she always wants one of us to go with her! We've been having weddings, a ball, and a lot of phone calls lately.
A vapor... seriously life really is so short! Sometimes i think on this and just want to run in and wake them up so i don't waste any of my time with them while they're still young. The fact that they desire to spend time with me is so precious i find myself wishing i could just hire a nanny to do all my chores so that i could just PLAY! I don't need help caring for the kids, I'd just have SO much more time to play if someone else did all my housework! :)
Yesterday Bryce and I were joking around about something, and after all these years we've gotten really good at our goofy banter, and he stopped after i said something and held my face and said " i just fell in love with you all over again." I swear i need to pinch myself regularly that i get to live with this man forever! Last week he brought me flowers for no reason, two days later he brought coffee and a bagel home to me, both after working twelve hours. He gets up early to spend time with the Lord and pray for us, he always stays patient and calm, never raising his voice or being angry. He treats our children with respect, disciplines by explaining himself first and teaching them how discipline is out of love. He is the physically strongest man i know and yet can be so gentle. The other day my dad said to me, " He is SUCH a good man. I am so grateful for him as a son and knowing that he is taking care of my girl so incredibly well." What a gift to have him in our lives!
I wonder sometimes what i'd do if something ever happened to him, and i'm really uncertain. I know the Lord has amazing things for us to do yet, but if Bryce went home to heaven before me, I'd try to remember the gift of each day with him. When i get up in the morning I set out to take in everything i can about him, we never stay angry, we always seek to learn from others and each other, we spend quality time finding things we enjoy together, and after five years i still get those same huge butterflies everytime he walks in a room, or i hear his voice, or even just smell his cologne or his skin on a shirt he left for me to wash. Life might be a vapor, but it's one i plan to breathe in as much as i possibly can!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Vaccines and Disposable diapers...why i do neither with my kids

Okay, i know both of these subjects can be met with mixed emotions. Some people are staunch believers in vaccines as well as the convenience of disposable diapers. I just want to share with you moms out there my experience with both and the studies i've done to back my reasons up. I have no desire to upset anyone, but i do think being informed as a mother is very important, especially these days.
First: Disposable diapers. I know of two different treatable kinds of diaper rash that my children have had. One of them is a yeast reaction that can be treated with any yeast infection cream, and also a general diaper rash where you'd use desitin or something with zinc oxide. Both of these tend to come from food reactions, at least they have seemed that way at times. Both of my older girls, however, has had one that was so bad and so red that nothing was touching it. Brynlee had that this past week while i had her in disposables to try and get rid of it using cream(you can use some creams with cloth diapers if you use a barrier so it won't clog them up, i just didnt want to hassle with that). So i started to think about it, you know what? Disposables are made with Chlorine and other harsh chemicals that when mixed with the ammonia that urine turns into can create a chemical burn! As soon as i put Brynlee back into cloth it was gone within hours! I started doing some research and found several articles listing different harsh chemicals and examples of lab rats that had increased eyes, nose and throat irritation and symptoms of asthma just being NEXT to these diapers! Not only are cloth diapers affordable and save you TONS of money, they also prevent your child from being exposed to harsh chemicals, perfumes and things that cause asthma. Also they don't break down in the land fills and the manufacturing plants that make them pollute the water systems surrounding them.
I know i sound like a total hippy right now but bear with me! I've gotten really into natural parenting as it allows ME the control of what my children are exposed to and not someone else. It puts ME in the driver seat to their health. Not that i'm really gung ho on everything, but i'm really trying to adjust our life to the healthiest it can be in all regards. If you think about it, how in the world did our parents' generation end up so much healthier than we are? With less disease, less autism, less infertility... It has to be effecting us somewhere we don't know about. It's not like we're signing up for it, it's got to be somewhere we don't even realize!
Thus bringing me into a very touchy subject: Immunizations... First of all we've all heard the reports about Autism and it's increase linked to vaccines. Pediatricians will avidly deny this, but i encourage you to do your due diligence for your child before you sign them up for a bunch of needles into their tiny little thigh. I have personally been bullied on this subject by SEVERAL different pediatricians and have decided i will most likely NOT find anyone in the traditional medical field who will agree with me on it. You'll also see a lot of reports of people being confronted by the police at their door telling them to vaccinate their child... this is really scary to me that we've come to that. What happened to the days that you actually got to parent your own child? Choose what's best for your child... Now it seems there's a government regulated opinion of what is best for YOUR kid and if you don't bow down and do it then they'll threaten to take them away. When Brynlee was just a couple months old we found that she had a little skin abnormality that never even got noticed for a couple months. At this discovery the Dr. actually told me that she SHOULD call DHS on me to do an investigation to see who had abused her! I broke down in tears right there, being my first realization that my word and my heart for my children is not good enough anymore. Somehow i have to defend myself and show that i'd never let anyone hurt them. They said maybe it could have been someone that babysat her... Trust me when i say there were NO signs of abuse, not a single problem with pain or any indication that it was any injury or fresh problem. She was BORN with it. This is just to illustrate where we are today. Maybe you haven't dealt with this problem with your pediatrician- and that's great for you! But it's happening. Luckily DHS was never called, we saw a specialist twice at a children's hospital and they determined it was absolutely fine. Soon after we switched to a new Dr. though the situation didn't change much.
I have done extensive research and i encourage you to do the same before you have your child vaccinated. Find out what is in them, what they protect your child from, and read the stories about babies that have died from getting too many, the raids that are being done to force you to vaccinate... This is a problem to me, a serious one. I have used dr. tenpenny (google her) for information, as well as www.naturalnews.com they update new articles everyday with pertinent new changes in government and things that go against the natural way of things. You'll be alarmed at what you find!
I am attempting not to get myself flagged here, i don't want to divulge too much information, but i do want to encourage you to protect your child and research the things you use and approve for their care. Choosing diapers and shots are as important as who you allow to babysit them, what you feed them, keeping them warm and clothed... Know what they're injecting into you little ones, PLEASE. Also, if you have mysterious rash's on the baby... try to keep them out of disposables and see if you get that resolved. Read the chemicals that are in diaper wipes and know that disposables are made with polyethylene and polypropylene plastic with bleached paper pulp, AGM (a gelling substance), petrolatum, stearyl alcohol, cellulose tissue, elastic, and perfume.
Blessings to you and your little ones, and if you need help locating good cloth diapers- check my two earlier posts!
P.S. Got my new Best Bottom diapers and they are AWESOME! So worth the money, amazingly narrow, soft, versatile and SO easy to do! Check them out at www.nickisdiapers.com!

http://www.diaperjungle.com/Disposable-Diapers-Exposed.html
http://naturalnews.com/Vaccines_Get_the_Full_Story.html

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Cloth Diapers...Information overload!

Sometimes i SERIOUSLY cannot stop laughing listening to him play with our girls. The man is hilarious! Currently he and Lucy are "playing animals" and he is playing with a green triceretops he has named "tremble"(because he's continuously saying "tremble before me") and is using his best nasally British Forest Gump accent narrating everything he's doing. If you can picture it! He then goes between his "tremble" accent and the snake he's named "steven" who has a terrible lisp and imitates the honey badger video on youtube... oh my goodness it's a sight to behold for sure! He is now flying Brynlee around like a jet plane, which is forcing adorable baby girls giggles out of her! Our little adventure girl!

Oh the entertainment at my house! I have to hide stuffed animals from Lucy right now because her collection of ones that MUST sleep with her expands by the hour! Its a little difficult to keep track of all of them and somehow, in the dark of night, she will yell from her room every single one that's missing, how she knows? I have no idea! She cant SEE them!

I am ordering another set of cloth diapers today! it's safe to say i'm addicted! :) They're SO adorable! All of my cloth has been purchased from two different websites:
www.cottonbabies.com and www.nickisdiapers.com
The order i just placed is from nicki's. Nicki's carries the "best bottom" diaper, which is a wipe-able cover, snap in insert so it wont move around, and one size-so it's adjustable from birth to potty training!
My guide to diaper buying would be this: If you want to only purchase diapers once-the most economical and easiest fitting way is to only get "one size" diapers. I also recommend pocket diapers, or covers with a number of different insert possibilities. You can get "all in one" diapers, but these take more time drying and have to be tossed in the washer immediately, thus meaning you need to buy a lot of them and they're more expensive.
I have purchased a LOT of different kinds in completely different price points. The pocket diapers that are lined in Fleece are my favorite because they keep moisture away from the skin and solids are really easy to get off of them when baby gets older. I also prefer snap closures as i've found the hook and loop tend to wear a lot faster and also my kids started to pull them off even under their clothes! I have done Pre-folds with Snappi's and LOVE them. My only complaint being that baby can feel the wetness faster-but you can buy a roll of 5 fleece liners from cotton babies to lay on top of these as well to help with that. They are definitely affordable and awesome burp and cleaning cloths as well! You can use any cover with these- my personal favorites being the "flip" brand from cottonbabies.
I have two different brands of "pocket" diapers and like them both a lot for different reasons! I have "Sunbaby" which are actually made in China and thus are very inexpensive. They are narrower diapers, have an extra leg snap for tightness, have fleece lining and very cute prints! I paid $66 for 12 of them! They are great but after a year of usage i do tend to get more leaks. I only use these during the day and are great for newborns as you change them all the time! The other brand of pockets i have are the BumGenius 4.0 one size. These i LOVE because they DO NOT leak! They are wider, a little more expensive but are an American company with some of the product coming from Egypt. They come with two soakers, a one size (snaps down three sizes or all the way out for large) and a newborn small one. I double these together for an all night diaper. I only wish i had the snap version instead of hook and loop!
I also have a random set of Bummis super whisper wraps when i bought a "try it" kit to see if i liked it. These came with 2 small size covers (only fit up to like 6 or 8 months) and 6 unbleached pre-folds and a Snappi.You can get all of this stuff in all organic but mine are not. If you're not sure how to wrap a prefold around a baby I have read lots of blogs and videos on how to do this, easy enough to figure out! It seems like different wraps work best for different kids. I use the traditional one with my girls.
I suggest when looking for the best deal- get covers you can wipe out, a mixture of inserts of any brand and cost and a snappi and you can make anything work! You don't even have to snappi the prefolds, you can fold them in thirds and lay them inside your cover.
You can make your own wipes by cutting flannel into squares, easy enough!
For those of you who don't like the idea of cleaning poop out of diapers (for breastfed babies you don't have to do ANYTHING, just toss them in the pail and wash as is!) When they're older and have solid poop it will generally come off on its own, but they do sell sprayers that attach to your toilet that make it easier, or little spatula things, or even a biodegradable flushable liner that you can buy and lay inside the diapaer, that way it all comes out without any touching. None of it freaks me out after three kids and numerous poop in the tub, the floor, and the panties experiences with Lucy and Bryn.
For traveling they have hybrids- meaning you can use a disposable insert with your cover as well. I have used those as the "Flip" system has this option and they work pretty well. Also you can get a small size "wet bag" to keep in your diaper bag so that it wont smell everything up or get it wet, these bags can be tossed into your load on laundry day. I've never messed with purchasing a "diaper pail" and all that, i just use a sterilite storage container from Wal Mart with a snap on lid and keep it on my drier. It never smells back there and has never bothered me!
I just read about a great wash cycle aid for smells and such today as well- using 3 tablespoons BAC-out and 3 Tablespoons detergent in a soak for a couple hours once a month on wash day, then just add an extra rinse. I bought some Country Save detergent from a local health and organic food co-op we have here in town (if you can find one of these, through church or health food store- JOIN! This one is incredible and we are LOVING it!).
So there's my pretty complete list. It's a LOT of information but i put it ALL down so you can refer back if you have any questions. I've tried a lot of different stuff but the easiest set i have is the wipe out covers and different inserts!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Cloth diapers... just the beginning

Our girls seem to have all gotten a cold in the last couple of days. For me this means that Brynlee is awake most of the night because she, like me, can only sleep breathing through her nose. I felt so bad for her, and for Lucy since she kept waking her up, that at 2 am she ended up in our bed with me. Bryce has been working nights and thus was not home at the time. Somewhere in that time frame i was laying there unable to sleep, going through my various procedures in my head of all the "what if's," and suffice it to say i decided if anyone tries to raid my house they are literally dead meat. We have an artillery in our bedroom and i know how to use all of it. Anyways, it just amazes me to think that we're really living this life!
I remember back before i went the Honor Academy I was laying in my bed in my apartment at College doing much the same thing as last night- thinking what i'd do if someone broke in, dreaming about who i'd marry, what our children would look like, what it would feel like to hold my own child. Now i am living that incredible dream and it's been far better than i could have imagined! Bryce and I have been together for five years now, had children for 40 months of that, and i am so grateful!
Children really do each have their own personality. Lucy has been running around today saying that she's marrying her horse (he's a rody- a rubber bouncy horse) and dancing with him. All the while Brynlee is walking around waiting for the perfect moment to take her toys and run off with them knowing she can make her flip out instantly. Then, of all things, the little stinker just laughs! Avery spends a majority of her time smiling-much more than the other two did at that age. We are having a lot of fun raising them, though i know i'm not alone in feeling like i might lose it sometimes being here alone with them all the time!
Over a year ago i started thinking about cloth diapering. Brynlee was a few months old and i really hated having to plan ahead how many diapers i had and coordinate how many boxes i needed between grocery store visits (we live in rural area)and a friend of mine had done it and loved it.
First of all- you don't have to buy cloth wipes, they are So expensive and not any different then making your own or buying baby wash cloths from Wal Mart. I bought a little spray bottle and filled it with water, then when i changed her i'd just spray the wash cloth and use that! Then you don't have to separate wipes and diapers before washing. I've washed disposable wipes before on accident, it's annoying.
Also- being in a small area, we don't have fancy soaps specifically for cloth diapering. I have used all free and clear and it has worked just fine for us. They still absorb just fine. My wash cycle is preset on my washing machine for Hot, Cold, Extra cold rinse. Some suggest to do more cycles than this, but that routine has worked great for us and doesn't take very long. Every few washes or so i'll add a capful or so of bleach to the load just to help keep out smells and stains.
My dad explained to me a while ago that your washing machine doesn't cost a bunch of extra money to run because it doesn't use as much power. However- the drier does! So when you buy diapers keep the drying time in mind. If you buy All in one diapers you will likely need to dry them extra long and use more power, or more time hang drying.
I think i'll end my cloth diapering there for now and pick it up in my next blog describing all my specific favorites and all the pros and cons of different types of cloth. Keep in mind you can cloth diaper your baby from birth to potty training for under a hundred dollars! This will save you a TON of money as each kid goes through over $2500 in disposables by the time they're done!

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Up all night

Which reminds me... Has anyone seen that new show? I tried to watch one episode and found my personal experience of giving birth nothing like hers. Having Avery was actually quite incredible, yes difficult, mind you, but it was perfectly what i wanted! Bryce's parents made it in time, Becky was here to make sure i didn't go in before necessary and everyone kept me sane and excited. The only thing i was hoping to avoid was her being born on my niece Ellie's birthday, which she was, eleven minutes past her exact time the year before!
Anyway, now that Avery is almost two months old... Well we're still up for hours every night which is truly exhausting when i still have to wake up and take care of all three of them, all under the age of 3! I love them so much though, i'd never change this wonderful gift I've been given of staying home to raise them.
Bryce's family got to be here for two weeks during Christmas, and it was really an amazing visit! Since they left... I'd just say it's fascinating and sad to see how each child deals with that grief differently. Lucy has been acting out a lot lately and finally her dad got to the bottom of it. She's afraid they'll never come back and she'll miss them forever- truly her words! She said it through sobs and her dads wet shoulder. Brynlee has been really clingy following me around pulling my pant leg sayin "mama" in a really sad voice. They had some really incredible quality time.
I suppose i should jump off early as Avery just seriously EXPLODED her diaper on my lap (luckily it hasnt leaked... yet) I've got my list of cloth diaper stuff coming soon!