Friday, December 7, 2012

Our friend Flex

I know this is way off track from my recent blogs, but as the scripture says, Matthew 12:34b For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The abundance of my heart right now is grief. It may sound silly to some of you facing much more serious loss, and I do understand ours was a pet not a person, but to us this pain is real. We have a good perspective on it, but unfortunately that cannot change our hurt. Many of you know that Bryce, my husband, became sick just months after our Lucy was born just after losing his job and insurance. During those three months of being in and out of the hospital Bryce had really began to feel defeated and was having a difficult time adjusting after he was home. He had been telling me for years that he'd wanted a Weimaraner and so I started to explore the option of getting him a puppy- to be his companion and to bring his spirits back up. This little boy was a blessings dropped into our lap, I'm sure of it! He was born to a beautiful mother that was intended to breed when she was older and so her puppies were purebred but unpapered thus making him thousands cheaper than Weims run. We went to see him when they were only a couple of weeks old in early May 2009 to see the little guy. Bryce was immediately attached to him, with ears to big for his body where he actually fell from stepping on them! He was one of the biggest puppies, as Bryce wanted a big dog. Over the next few weeks he would drive the two hours each way just to see him for an hour or so. He was hooked! This little puppy was his joy! He finally came home with us on June 12th at eight weeks old. Since then he has been the most incredible dog we've ever had (we love our Jesse, but he's more subdued). Bryce would take him virtually everywhere, they took drives together, went running, and he'd take him to Grandpa's Feed to get dog food and toys. Bryce bell trained him to ring with his nose when he needed to go outside (which got annoying since he'd ring it ANYTIME he wanted out!) Lucy has no memory of not having him in her life and often tried shutting him in her room to play. One of her first words was calling him "horsey" because he was so big! We went through many ups and downs with him because he became very sick a couple years ago and required immediate surgeries much like Bryce's. He would say that he and the dog were meant for each other, both healing from the same internal stuff. He always protected me and the girls when Bryce was on night shift or out of town, and he never let anyone near them in the yard. He had a very intimidating bark! When we decided to move here to Kansas, some of the pros we thought of were acres for him to run and play. So he rode in the main cab of the care with Jesse and the girls all the way here to Kansas. As soon as he saw that field he FREAKED! It was so beautiful to spend hours watching him run and play and explore 5 acres of land. He was a beautiful dog, shiny and happy, big and long, goofy and always always trying to scheme his way into your lap. He had a way of turning people into dog people and had a huge crush on my mom. For some reason every time she was over at our house he would not leave her alone! He kept following her and rubbing his head on her anywhere she went. I'm pretty sure she fell in love with him too :) Lucy and Brynlee were always dressing him up and riding him like a horse, to which he would just play along every time, he loved them. He loved them so much i know that at some point this will hit them and at least Lucy will understand the permanence and feel the pain of loss. Of course he did stuff to drive me nuts, but no matter what i loved him anyway and could never stay mad very long. We've been here almost three months and in the past couple of weeks he had been losing a lot of weight and drinking absurd amounts of water. The other day he began coughing up blood and just lay in the dirt, so Bryce loaded him up and took him to the Vet. The Vet immediately said it was serious at he was Forty pounds lighter than when we left Oregon. We knew, we just knew all day what this meant and that he wasn't coming home. It was a long day, but after the diagnosis of advanced Cushings and some other things as well- he needed to be put down and spared the pain. So i sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and hugged his neck and told him how much i loved him, and he did what he's always done- whenever i cry he comes up to me and looks right into my eyes as if to say he knows how i feel and he's there for me. Then Bryce asked me to leave and held him as he passed away... I swear if God sends animals during a time when people need unconditional love and humor, than this dog was certainly sent by him. He helped me get Bryce back to himself again, he brought us love and comfort, and plenty of laughter. He was a gift we cannot be thankful enough for. We are desperately feeling his absence already, and so unsure how to move forward from here but we are grateful for the joy he brought us, and for being Bryce's companion. We had so many dreams that included him, he shouldn't have died for ten more years at least. What a difference a day makes.

1 comment:

  1. He did have a crush on me and it WAS mutual. He was my boyfriend and when you told me he was gone, I wept. I will miss my sweet horse of a friend and his unconditional if not overwhelming love for me, I will never understand why he thought I was so special but I truly enjoyed his silly personality and devotion, to all of us. He was a precious gift and I am glad to have known him!