Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Your children become what you speak over them.
Think about it: If we become what we think about, which i've come to the conclusion after reading many books like "Secrets of the Millionaire mind," "Think and grow rich," "as a man thinketh," "God's creative power" and listening to "The strangest secret," that this is definitely true; what do our children think about? When they are young, still at home with us, what do they think about? Whatever we teach them, allow into their lives via friends, family, movies, games, parties etc, these things shape their young thoughts. If a child is spoken to in harsh terms and told they're always "naughty" what will they always be? NAUGHTY. Before you wonder where in the world i get this stuff, please remember i do have three children of my own! I can tell you honestly that each child was a different sort of baby, each pregnancy was different, and each of my children are different. I can tell you honestly- after reading these books and studying the power of words from the bible- i have truly understood what this principle has done for my own life. For example, when i was very young in school a teacher told my mom that i had not been tested but must suffer from a learning disability. As never diagnosed, the statement had already done it's damage as my mom then believed this about me and tried to help me through the next 12 years of school. As a senior in high school i received a 4.25 grade point average and STILL believed i was not a smart kid. I must not be destined for anything great. I was given a full ride to a small community college for sports and opted not to take it so that i could stay close to home in case i didn't "do well" in college. Just a few years ago i was praying about some things and as we were talking at a family event this disability came up and I decided to speak to my mom in private about it. After which she studied through the bible to write scriptures and prayers for me rebuking what had been spoken over me and speaking life. Since then i've not struggled with this thought in my mind even once, because the chain of the lie was broken. Now i don't share this with you to gain pity or to make you think that i do have a disability- my point is I did NOT have a disability, and I have never had a hard time picking things up, but because i believed this about myself from a young child it effected my success and my choices as i became an adult. I can even offer another example for you :) Each of my children slept through the night beautifully for 8 to 12 hours every night since the time they were 2 months old. Many many mothers believe that i am just "lucky" not to have one of their "problem" sleepers. This is SO untrue! I am the same tired, exhausted, desperate mother any of them were. And my children were breastfed before you believe they coma slept because of formula(which is not necessarily true for formula babies anyway.) After a few weeks i was healing well and needed to be close to my husband, to talk and laugh, and have our own space. Thus each of my children moved to their own rooms within the first month after birth. I know some of you co-sleep, that is just not me- and no i do not love my children any less. Each night when they would wake up i would go in and lean over to cuddle close to them while they were still in their crib, check their diaper, see if they were too hot, and prayed for them. I repeated over and over "I love you sweet baby, but Jesus created you to be independent from me and to sleep. He created you to need rest, and He created mommy and daddy to get time alone. You are fine, you are safe, you are loved and Jesus will help you sleep. When you need me, I am here, but you are fine and ready to sleep, goodnight I love you" and I would walk out and allow them to cry for a while before i went back in and repeated the same routine. Very quickly they were sleeping fine and no, they've never shown signs of attachment issues or anything. I truly believe that this is the difference between me and other moms who are always awake! I am not saying mothers that are awake all night with toddlers are bad mothers, I think they are actually quite excellent mothers because they desperately want to make sure their child is not abandoned and knows they are loved. I also have seen many that fear their child will not know they are loved if they are ever left to cry. I believe that how your child thinks and what they know of your love is dependent on how you speak this over them throughout the day, and gently allowing them to learn to sleep alone is only teaching them to choose and think independently of you. You can try over and over to lay them down and do exactly what i did and you can still not have the same results if you don't really believe your child can sleep. I read a profound thought in the book "God's creative power" that reads " Jesus said to me, 'I have told my people they can have WHAT THEY SAY and they are SAYING WHAT THEY HAVE.'" How true is this in our lives? I KNOW it's true in mine. If my child is being naughty, which is in their nature, i am telling people that they are naughty- correct? What if when they are naughty we correct the behavior as we should but we only spoke positive things about them? What would happen then? I have tried this many times and it has transformed the way i think of their behavior and their behavior changed as well! My children are incredible, my children listen, my children love Jesus, these are the things i repeat in my mind and often out loud when they are misbehaving because if God gave me the power to loose things in heaven and bind things on earth, good behavior i will loose and bad behavior i will bind!(Matthew 16:19) This works in every area, I personally am specifically focusing on financially, but it is generally universal! Where you are right now is as a result of how you THINK and then how you ACT! First we think, then we act, then we see the results of all of it and repeat it with disappointment. I don't know about you but i'm tired of this cycle! I'm tired of it for my children and for my finances, marriage, friendships, churches, any thing i interact with. The mothers I have most admired over time are those women who are not emotionally charged when their children misbehave. They are wise and generous, and their children grow up to be calculated and optimistic. They are intelligent and kind, generous and loving, and can adapt to any situation. The reason is not because they never misbehaved or those mothers were "just lucky" it was because they spoke good things over their children! They were patient and kind, and even though their children were difficult at times and stubborn just like ours, they grew up to be incredible adults! My husband and his sister are two incredible examples! These two adapt, are kind, generous, loving, confident and wise. I believe my brothers are also this way! Yes our parents made mistakes with us of course, but they always led us to the Lord and told us that we could do anything we set our mind to. We often think that statement is ridiculous but really we become what we think about, so it is true! There is nothing that makes me more angry than an older mother coming up to me saying things like "just wait until your children are teenagers" "Oh three girls, oh man your house will be terrible when they're teenagers" As soon as i walk away politely i say out loud quietly " I refuse to let them speak over my children in Jesus name those things are NOT my kids, my children will be INCREDIBLE teenagers and women of God!" Because in no way will i let someone else speak horrible things over my kids! I often feel as though i now understand WHY their children are struggling so much, they've had failure spoken over them! My point is to encourage you mothers and fathers, friends and relatives, that you can change the future of your children and those around you by speaking POSITIVELY over them! It will work the same in your own mind and heart, speak GOOD things over yourself and your finances and they will change! Don't complain, blame others, or act the victim- take responsibility for your part and start speaking LIFE about yourself and your children!